Mean It Like You Say It

It goes without saying that the COVID pandemic greatly impacted the workplace over the last two years. But the social demonstrations following the murder of George Floyd also forced a lot of us to face uncomfortable truths about inequality in our country. Conversations about diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) in the workplace that had already been on the rise gained momentum and a new level of priority. Leaders wanted to “do something.” So let’s go, right? Easier said than done.

When it comes to helping leaders figure out how to approach DEI strategies, my experience has been a mixed bag. I have heard it all: good intentions, denial, hope, dismissal, heartfelt, self-serving, openness, resistance. I like to start these conversations by helping them define the “why” – why is DEI important? The answers have been varied, and our individual experiences inevitably impact our views. Therefore, expanding the diversity of experiences you hear from is critical to getting a thorough (i.e., good) answer. Sharing some of my personal experiences has helped open and navigate some of these sometimes uncomfortable conversations.

As a Latina in a largely white male corporate world, I learned early on in my career that it was “easier” to navigate my professional world by hiding my ethnic identity until I determined it was safe to reveal it. I was also fully aware that my white skin afforded me the choice. It was challenging enough dealing with hearing, “No little girl is going to tell ME what to do!” when trying to counsel a (male) manager. I also wanted to minimize the number of times I heard, “[derogatory term for Latinx] are only good for mopping floors and washing dishes” when discussing job openings with a hiring manager. I often had to weigh whether an interaction was worth a confrontation. I did not have the privilege that many take for granted: the ability to be who I wanted and say what I wanted no matter the space I was in.

Continuously managing these interactions in the workplace requires effort and fortitude. Put another way: constantly assessing whether you are in safe or unsafe space just to be yourself is exhausting. And I couldn’t always find the support I needed.

Here are just a few personal and professional moments, which I hope will help demonstrate both an unsafe work environment and the importance of a safe one:

• “Okay, here’s what you need to know: [name] is grabby but harmless; [name 2] is totally cool; don’t get caught in an office alone with [name 3]” – A conversation with my female team members during my first week at a new company.

• “It is so exciting to have someone like her in that role. I’ve never had that to look up to and I want to learn so much from her!” – A female junior team member, after meeting our employer’s first-ever female C-suite executive.

• “She was incredibly disrespectful to me! She can’t talk to me that way!” – A male manager filing an official complaint against me because I repeatedly and calmly asked him during a phone conference to please let me finish speaking.

• “If I complained about what he was doing I would just be called unfriendly, a whiner and not a team player.” – Female employee sharing, through tears, why she had not reported the male colleague who had been sexually harassing her and other women at their work site for over five years.

• [Laugh] – Male colleague walking out of the office kitchen, after I asked him not to grab my ass again.

• “I get plenty of resumes so I don’t even read the ones with names I can’t pronounce.” – Hiring manager explaining his resume screening process.

• “I quit. There is no way I will ever work for a woman.” – Male manager leaving a team meeting where the new female leader was introduced.

• “Puerto Rican? Ah, diversity hire….oh, I’m joking!” – Manager’s reaction in a training session when learning where I was from.

• [Loud cheers] – Reaction from a team of Black employees, realizing that the new HR business partner sent to investigate their workplace complaint was also Black.

In asking why DEI initiatives are important, leaders need to listen to a diverse range of voices. Only after you get a better understanding of the “why” can you move on to the “what” and the “how.” Because how can you know how to create a safe space for your employees to be themselves when you don’t know – or have a limited view of – what their unsafe space looks like? To inspire and drive change, leaders first need to understand what needs changing.

It will be uncomfortable to have these conversations. But we have to push past that discomfort if we are to understand that true DEI impact is not just in hiring a more diverse group of people. It is in the actions we decide to take to support them once they are part of our organizations. That will require ongoing intention, commitment, and resources.

Yes, diversity matters because representation matters. Inclusion matters, and data shows inclusive teams are better performers. At the end of the day, we could talk about all the great business reasons for driving DEI within organizations. But isn’t just the right thing to do? Diversity does not make us weaker; it makes us stronger. Leaders, listen and do.